Wednesday, June 30, 2010

star trek.. please step on the transporter

Let me start out by saying I'm not a star trek fan. Never got into the original series, never cared about the next generation. That's not to say I can't appreciate some of the technology that this sci-fi (or syfi for the cool kids) brought to our world. Portable computer, cellphones, and more importantly, get us thinking about teleportation. Now I'm sure someone thought of the idea of popping from one location to another almost instantaneously long before star trek. Perhaps there have been fictional books talking about this very thing, but there's something about visuals that get gears turning inside scientific minds. Once you see someone's concept of what they think a fictional item should look like or work, it tends to get the ball rolling.

Anyway, there have been very archaic teleportation success stories so far. I think about 3-4 years ago they teleported the first data string 10 miles. No, not send data over fiber optic, but really teleport it (one microsecond the data is on one side, the next it's over here). Again, teleporting is not physically moving an object, but rather having equal building blocks on each side, making a copy where you want to go, and then deleting the old one.

Now let's first start with an inanimate object. Let's keep it simple, let's say we want to teleport a 1" cube made of sugar from my front door to the next town. In order to accomplish this task, a computer would need to do a molecular scan of the orignal. Not only would it need very precise coordinates of each molecule of sugar, but the status of each molecule (in other words, what location are all the neutrons of each molecule at, and what direction/speed are they traveling at that exact moment). Once you have that data (capturing all of it simultaneously), and you could transport that data to another location, and tell that machine to recreate this structure with this data, then in theory it's absolutely possible to teleport a real physical object. But of course, you ask yourself, how do you go about assembling even a simplistic object on a molecular level? I'm not really sure, perhaps nanobots the size of molecules that would do a cell level bond and build it like a lego set?

Now let's skip to humans. That gets WAY more complicated. Your talking about multiple types of molecules (skin, bone, hair, blood cells/vessels, organs, neurons firing at the speed of light), not to mention a living breathing hunk of flesh.. with a soul! Even if by some miracle, you have a computer powerful enough to figure out how to assemble a full human being with a manufacturing plant stocked with pre-made molecules, all those necessary to build a human, imagine actually trying to orchestrate such a build! Even if you are able to build another human, or perhaps you simply have stockpiles of clone bodies waiting for your soul to be transferred to, how do you transfer a soul? Is your soul transferrable? Are we really just pure energy inside, and is that something that can be tranported? Many (especially those that have died, or experimented with OBE) all claim that there's this silver cord which binds you to your body, and keeps evil spirits out. If you really are so attached to your present body, how does your soul get trnasferrred?

Well anyway, let's skip all that technical jargon mumbo jumbo for a moment. Let's assume there's some secret sauce that finally allows humans to be teleported. In fact let's assume you need no building blocks, but all your molecules are actually transported through high-speed tubes traveling at thousands of miles per hour. You step on a transporter, it breaks you down like a Tron movie, chunk by chunk, sends you along, and re-assembles you on the other end, so fast you don't even notice the process at all. So if this super fast computer is capable of dis-assembling and re-assembling your body, what's to say it can't change it as it rebuilds you? Suppose you tell the computer "When you rebuild me, make me a female", or "Make me 6 inches shorter, just run the scaling program". It could theoretically possible to do sex changes on the fly. But of course you have to wonder, if you make yourself smaller, where do those molecules go? And if they get collected as leftover scrap flesh, is it a point of no return? Does the transporter keep spare molecules to go the other way around? What if the computer makes a mistake?

let's explore one scenario

Please step onto the transporter captain, we'll beam you back up to the main deck

I never liked that jerk, how bout you guys? What do you say we have some fun with him :-)

What are you guys mumbling abou...... beeeooooowww!

WHAT DID YOU GUYS DO TO ME?!! YOU NOT ONLY MADE ME A GIRL, BUT YOU DEMOTED ME TO CREW MEMBER!

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

curly hair

I've always admired curly hair. To me nothing says "feminine" like curls. Not really sure why, women have all sorts of hair types, perhaps because curly implies "perm", or that I've put some work into my hair, or that curly hair tends to be harder to maintain (at least combing). Some of my favorite hair is molly hagen. You probably don't know that name, ahem (in my best imitation of troy McClure from the simpsons) You might remember her from such Fox television shows such as Herman's head (a short-lived show that also featured the girl that does the voice of lisa simpson).


Christine Taylor in the movie (wedding singer) had really good hair too

Of course I've also always admired Julia Louis Dreyfus' hair (AKA elaine from Seinfeld) as well:

Of course, nothing annoys me more than someone with beautiful curly hair that goes and straightens it (of course I think she has naturally straight hair), but I'm saying that those that have naturally curly hair should just leave it natural and be thankful they have great hair.

So over the weekend, while the wife was away (not that I don't crossdress in front of her, I find it more comfortable if I at least dress up when she isn't home), I don't mind "being" dressed in front of her. I got out my trusty curler set (the only one that seems to work is the flexible plastic ones with the foam plus steamer), and even then it's a battle. I swear I was born to have straight hair. I truly believe there are levels of curling acceptance, mine is very low tolerance. It curls, most of it is quite spirally when it first comes out of the curlers, but it quite quickly turns from curl to wave within an hour. It also doesn't help that it's been hot, and having long hair in your face while your trying to roll curlers into it just adds to the sweating. Even though I left them in far longer than reccommended (an hour vs the 10 minutes they tell you to wait), a lot of my hair was still moist and therefore didn't take the curl as well as I'd hoped.

Everytime I try curling my hair, I have this vision, aspiration if you will that I could somehow look like this:

But in reality, I usually end up looking something like this:




menstruation machine




I've heard about such devices before, but never actually saw one (perhaps they didn't work that well either). Seems some female college student in Japan (go figure) has created a device that wears sort of like a chastity belt, and at some random time (computer decides when it should start), it creates shock impulses that simulate pain, and there's a syringe filled with blood that makes it drip out, completely simulating what it feels like to menstruate.

I'm not sure that I'm that curious to know, but it might be interesting to try out (at least for a moment, not sure I could stand a whole 5 days, especially with a device so obvious and constricting). Perhaps if it could be scaled down to be hidden, I'd consider wearing it out in public/work.

Sunday, June 27, 2010

magical boy


"Little boy.. you can't mis-use your powers like this. I may be your babysitter, but that doesn't give you the right to turn me into a woman. Now be a good little boy and change me back"

NO!!

"please?"

NO!!

50 first dates

Honey.. Can we swap bodies?
"What??? what do you mean?"

Like this!
"Oh ha ha, you look so cute in my dress!"

Saturday, June 26, 2010

workin hard or hardly workin


I have to suck how many dicks?
Every single one.. if you don't, I won't give you your male body back

Thursday, June 24, 2010

dream come true?

"God, make me a woman... No? Ok, talk to you tomorrow"

"God, make me a woman... No? Ok, talk to you tomorrow"

"God, make me a woman... No? Ok, talk to you tomorrow"

"God, make me a woman.... "
"Wha... Holy shit it really worked this time! I didn't think it would ever ACTUALLY work! OMG, what the hell am I going to do now? I have an important meeting at work tomorrow. Hell, I can't go back to work, ever! What am I going to do about money? How am I going to find clothes to wear?!"

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

before there was photoshop...



No this is not something I drew, however I was about this talented at one point (before life got serious and all my free time went out the window). How many of you, especially the older ones (35+) remember a time when there was no photoshop, or if there was it was so un-obtainably expensive that you didn't get to play with it early on? When I was probably in my mid teens, I didn't want to wait any longer, so I took my doodling to the next level and started sketching things to try to harness my drawing skill. I got good, pretty darned good. I started re-creating school yearbook photos of myself in sketch form, trying to copy as much detail as possible (this was before digital cameras too, so you had limited number of photos of yourself). Eventually when I got good, and knew what characteristics were in my facial features, I could draw my face pretty easily and quickly.

Of course you know what this led to next, seeing how I could feminize my face. Add a little extra shading in the lips for lipstick, add a touch of shading to the cheekbones for blush, darken the eyelids for eyeshadow, lengthen the lashes a bit.. Then it was time for the hair. Now I never had long hair as a younger person, so it was an open palette. Started off with just lengthening my straight hair, then I messed around with waves and curls. Eventually I would find naked women (usually from my porno stash) and find a girl with her head in the same position as my face, and I would effectively draw my feminized head onto a female body. It was fun while it lasted, at one point I even got a 128 colored pencil set so I could do it in color, and kept them all in a school folder that was hidden away in a desk behind junk, but deep in the back of my head I was scared to death that someone would find them and confront me why I had sketches that were clearly me as a woman. I had no choice but to rip them up into pieces and throw them away to destroy the evidence (oh what I would have given for a scanner and an encrypted flash drive back then). All those sketches are just vague memories inside my head that I'll never get back.

UPS delivery man


"Holy crap!! What happened to me?!!" said the delivery man

Rule number 14 of the UPS delivery handbook: Never, ever, under any circumstances, peek to see what's inside any packages marked SRU, you may not like the results.

Monday, June 21, 2010

grow a set!

The 6th day movie

Time for another movie caption. If you haven't seen this movie (which came out 10 years ago), then commence the spoiler alert. I myself haven't seen this until very recently. It was just one of those movies where I went "I need to see that", and then it gets forgotten about, and then something tips you off to finally put it in your netflix queue.

Anyway, essentially the movie is about human cloning, which is still not legal yet. One corporation decides to experiment with cloning, legal or not, because they believe it should be legal, and it's our key to unlimited life. So this CEO guy takes a trip to a ski mountain, but first he makes sure his pilot's DNA and brain image is stored first by pretending to give a drug test. One thing leads to another, and suddenly there's 2 copies of arnold schwarznegger, who of course freaks out when he see's himself inside his home. In order to cover up this goof, these assassins of course want to kill him off because if anyone found out someone was cloning humans, they would get shut down immediately. Of course he doesn't go so quietly, and the assassins die a few times, brought back to life by cloning.

Now my own observation: Cloning means a copy. It is not moving your soul over, though it might appear that way since the clone has your same memories. It is in fact a copy, but if your old body dies, in a way it might appear as moving into a new body. It's much like when you move files on your computer, your not really moving them, your actually making a copy first, then deleting the old file. It just saves a step by telling it "move". There's a moment in the movie towards the end when the CEO copies his DNA/brain, and transports it into a new body before he dies (because he's the only one alive), and you actually see the new body wake up, and start taking the clothes off his old body, which is near death from a laser gun hole in his body. The old body even says "aren't you even going to wait until I'm dead first?"

Now even though you can't move a soul by cloning, that's not to say you couldn't have some fun fucking with the clone by transferring your male brain memory storage into a female body clone, right?

Just press your finger here so we can get a blood sample, and then put your eyes at the top here for a vision test.

Like this?
Yes, that's right! Done

Dammit, these assassins keep dying, especially wiley. He's died like 3 times in the last 2 hours. His female partner hasn't died once yet and.. say, are you thinking what I'm thinking? We put wiley in her DNA clone body, he wakes up in HER body! I can't wait to see his reaction, hee hee!

We got his syncord data all loaded up

And her DNA mapped to the clone host body

The female host body is ready, time to transfer his syncord data into it

"MOTHERFUCKER SHOT ME!!"

"Woah.. wha.. what the fuck am I doing talia's body? Can't you scientists get anything right?!"
"We transferred you into a female body on purpose. You don't seem to be very good at killing in a man's body, so we thought what could it hurt to put you in her body. After all, she certainly has a better track record than you do"


"Yea but this is soooo fucked up. I mean, this body feels so wrong, and these long nails and hair, and these arched eyebrows. I'm not so sure I feel like killing anymore"

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

2 caps in one day!


Why did you even bother leaving my cock? Surely I'll never pass as a man ever again!

Because my dear, you have one of the largest cocks I've ever seen, and shemales are far more profitable than men or women

overboard

This is one of my favorite movies, not sure why. Perhaps I like kurt russell, perhaps I like carpentry, perhaps it's just a silly movie? I did sort of like how a rich bitch could become a nice person, and I always like when someone can clean up well



Nuff said, let's get on with the caption

"Wtf?!! how did we trade bodies? And how did we fall off the yaht??"
"Weee!! No more building furniture and storage for rich bitches, now I AM the rich bitch! relaxation here I come!"




Sunday, June 13, 2010

pretty... WOMAN??


Watch the new uncut 20th anniversary special where you see the real reason he hired a hooker, so they could play role reversal.

*disclaimer: This is not meant to start rumors about richard gere or julia roberts, both fine actors. This is just a TG story blog that bears no resemblance with the real world or those depicted on it.

Wait! That's the wrong bottle!


That's not Maalox I just drank, that's super birth control.. I hope it's not too late to.. oh nevermind

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

borrowed caption idea

saw this idea on another TG caption blogger site (I don't remember which one, otherwise I'd give credit). It's the idea that there's a party, and in order to balance the guy to girl ratio, if another guy stepped into the room, one of the guys would transform into a girl so the ratio evened back out.

So here's my quick little caption based on that storyline

Monday, June 7, 2010

harland williams podcast

You remember harland williams right? That goofy guy that played the serial killer in "something about mary", played the cop in dumb n dumber.

He also played a "guy pretending to be a girl" in the movie "sorority boys"

Anyway.. I saved this little soundbite of him talking on his podcast

Wondering what it would be like to be the other gender:

He's also talked about how much filming the movie sucked (in another episode) because you were shaving and getting make-up redone about every 4 hours, and the director chose the most feminine clothing that no girl would ever wear.

Sunday, June 6, 2010

emptiness

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Friday, June 4, 2010

genetic modification afterthoughts

I got a great comment on the last posting. Someone who's clearly more educated on this subject than I. Some interesting points:
1. Would take decades for these changes to take affect in an adult since they aren't growing. I'm not sure if that's true, if your body is making it's own hormones, what's the difference between body made hormones and injecting them with a needle? different dosage? Also, aren't most cells (minus brain cells) replaced every 7 years?
2. The change wouldn't be reversible. I could maybe buy into this. If every man starts out as a female as an embryo, and then chance decides whether or not to flip the switch to produce more testosterone than estrogen. If "Y" causes this change, then by deleting this gene would reverse that. Now by "deleting" it, that would mean the X would replace it, and give you an XX. If you "delete it'", how do you get it back? kinda stuck. But would we really need to delete it, or simply suppress it? I mean we don't do stomach reductions or even stapling anymore for obese patients, we simply do a lapband (use a non-evasive knot) so that it's reversible.
3. Genetic research would never happen because there's no money in it (cheaper using current methods). This I can totally buy into. Being an engineer, I know all about cutting costs (down to the pennies). Unless there's a biological reason, or profit goal, the research would never happen (unless there are a bunch of TG doctors that plan on doing it open source for the fun of it).

But now imagine for a second that such research did occur, and we really do come up with a pill that can magically flip your body's switch and make it start producing estrogen and testosterone blockers? Any pill, prescription or not, eventually makes it's way to the black market. Just look around the internet for a while, anything you could need (ambien, viagra, etc) can be bought through black market websites without a prescription by shipping directly out the country (china, india, mexico, even canada). So you have to think of the power of such a pill. A pill so powerful it flips the switch, making any man start to transition and have female features. Not necessarily a vagina, but certainly everything else (breasts, thick smooth skin, redistribution of fat, change in mood and psyche, etc).

But seriously consider the power of such a thing, and realize that for every good there's also an evil side. Imagine some prankster decides to start popping these pills inside guy's drinks at the club for fun. In his mind, he's increasing his odds by eliminating some of his competition, and perhaps having a laugh by seeing a guy get femminized?

"I just don't understand it, ever since I started coming to this bar, I keep getting more girly."

Then you think about people that are evil and want revenge. Imagine a co-worker that doesn't like you, perhaps a boss you hate? One little pill slipped into their drink, and gradual sex change.

"Mr Anderson! What are you staring at? I'm still your boss you know!"

Then there's the more serious issue, bio-terrorism! yea that's right, what better way to fight a war than that? Imagine Iraq breaking us down one more notch not by crashing another plane, but by turning most of our male population into women by dumping a bunch of these pills into our water supply? Other than a small percentage of men un-affected who are using well water in rural areas, most men in america would be turned into women.

Imagine the impact, starting off with the fact that pro-creation would be severely affected. With few men to impregnate women, our population would be doomed. The government would probably have to enforce some kind of foreign exchange person program to even the population while balancing the genders.

"Give me a hug honey, your daddy.. I mean mommy is moving to France. Your new daddy will be here tomorrow, he's from Spain. Remember all the things I taught you about womanhood, I never thought I'd be having this conversation with my son".

Then let's consider the immediate impact. Unlike most of the followers to blogs like this that embrace the idea of transgender, a lot of guys can't even begin to comprehend such a thing. so much in fact that it would depress the hell out of them. In fact, it could very well push them to suicide.
She just couldn't accept her new body

Then you have to think if there wouldn't be some sort of solution to such a widespread problem. Could doctors prescribe testosterone and estrogen blockers to block the effects of the body wanting to feminize itself? So much in fact that it could also prevent sperm from destroying itself? Would it need to be something that's so common it would quickly move from prescription to over the counter?

"I've got boobs THIS big and it's got menadryl written all over it"

our society could change dramatically for sure. You think women are catty? Imagine guys as women, even more judgemental!
"Dude, why are you trying to take menadryl? Why can't you just accept being a woman like the rest of us?" said john's co-workers.

no more lingrie bowl, every football game would look like that now

Construction workers would start to whistle and oggle themselves

And our military, well it would never be the same either